This month, I celebrated another year of living! Another year of getting to be on this journey of life! Another year of being able to grow! Another year of becoming who I am!And I am so very grateful. One of my favorite birthday gifts was being introduced to the work of Don Miguel Ruiz. I am not going to lie. It is a little “out there” for this “it needs to fit in my box of understanding” type of girl. If I would have been given this book a couple of years ago, I don’t know that I would have made it past the introduction. For real. But the 47 year old me, kept reading. And I am SO glad I did.
He begins with this concept of domestication. Ruiz explains that everything we know was put into our minds through repetition. We learned how to behave. What to believe. What not to believe. What is acceptable. What is not acceptable. What is good. What is bad. What is wrong. What it right. EVERYTHING. Starting with the language we speak. We didn’t choose to speak English. We didn’t choose our religion or moral values. We didn’t choose what to believe or not to believe. We didn’t even choose our own names! Have you ever thought about this?!?
We AGREED with information that was passed down to us. The only way to store information, Ruiz says, is by AGREEMENT. As soon as we agree to something, we believe it. And we then begin to live by a set of rules that we did not even choose. That is an interesting concept to think about, isn’t it? Test it out. Think of something you have agreed upon. What you deem appropriate or right. What you view as inappropriate or wrong. Where did it come from? How did it come to be a belief that you have stored in your head? What makes it true? Is it true? These are all good questions to ask!
As you are asking yourself these questions, please understand that some of the beliefs we have agreed to, ARE true. But many are not! They were simply handed to us. So this summer, I have set out on a journey looking at the agreements I have stored in my head, to see what is truth and what is not. And, to focus on the four agreements he has offered as a new set point.
It has taken me to a whole other level of awareness that I didn’t know was possible. And one that is much harder than I expected. Because in the words of John Lennon… Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see…
This morning, as I sit here with my coffee, watching the sun rise, I am pondering the first agreement. Studying it again. And not just what it means, but what it means in my life. For me. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD. Our word is the most powerful tool we have. It is as sharp as a double edged sword. Our word can create LIFE and JOY or our word can DESTROY everything around us. He offers, depending on how it is used, that the word can set us free or enslave us even more than we know!
For starters, I am learning that being impeccable with my word is NOT saying anything that goes against myself. And the TRUTH is the most important part of being impeccable with my word. How many times do I say something because I feel it is what I SHOULD say? Even though I don’t mean it at all! I don’t speak my truth because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Or I don’t want to cause any confrontation. Or I don’t want to disappoint someone. And I say things like, “It was so good to see you! Let’s get together soon!” Or, “Yes, I can meet you today.” Or, “Yes I will take that volunteer position.” And then I walk away feeling resentful, agitated or even trapped, because those are words that go against myself. They go against my truth.
And the truth of the matter is, only the TRUTH will set me free.
We must know and speak our truth. We must understand what our word is and what our word does. Ruiz argues that when we grasp this concept of being impeccable with our word, we begin to see changes that can happen in our life. First with ourselves, and then with others. Especially those we love the most.
How do we know if we are impeccable with our word? He goes on to say, that you can measure the impeccability of your word by your measure of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Who doesn’t desire that?!?
Are you are peace with yourself? Are you at peace with others? If not, take action. Checking the impeccability of your word is a great place to start. Say no when you want to say no. Say yes when you want to say yes. And let me know what happens when you do…