*Perspective….how you view what you see
*It’s not what you are looking at that matters, it’s what you see.
*Perspective is an outlook…an attitude towards something
*With our perspective we can embrace, distort and enhance what we see.
*What shapes and influences or perspective? family, moods, where you grew up, mind set, fear, education, faith, birth order, finances, life experience, social media, circumstances….etc….
*Our perspective can change as we grow, mature and experience
*Looking back on old journal entries….Elizabeth could see how her perspective on motherhood had changed when reading entries during her 1st pregnancy to her 8th pregnancy!
*What we know is what we know and we can’t know what we don’t know
*We have a limited view…as we experience, learn and grow it gets wider
*How differently would these situations shape a person?…..the youngest of 4 in a small town/sheltered/most decisions were made for them, an only child raised in NYC with busy parents that learned to fend for themselves at a young age, or someone born the oldest of 12……
*Do you ever ask yourself….Why do I think that way? Why do I get so passionate about that?
*It’s not the answers that enlighten….but the question
*We don’t always have to have the answer…it is ok to sit with the question
*Are you open to the fact that your perspective may change in the next day, month, year?
*What if we zoom out?
*Everyone has the ability to teach us something….even if we don’t agree with them
*Video about 2 strangers divided by their beliefs….watch here
*Seek to understand rather than defending your view
*”No matter how flat you make a pancake it always has two sides” -Dr. Phil
*What person or situation would benefit from you seeing the other side/view?
*When out to eat….Elizabeth and her husband sat at a table next to a man that was dominating the conversation at his table….the other people could not get a word in….he talked and talked….her husband looked at her and whispered “How do extroverts ever learn anything when they are always talking?”
*You can’t learn anything new if you’re always just repeating what you already know
*We can gain new perspective when we LISTEN
*Just because the extrovert is always talking doesn’t mean they are always right.
*It’s not EITHER OR….it’s AND and BOTH
*Reality is what things actually are but each person’s reality is what they see and feel
*What if we “flipped the pancake” every time we disagreed or got our feelings hurt and tried to stand in the other person’s shoes?
*We don’t see things as they are-we see things as we are
*”What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.” -C.S. Lewis
*Pause and ask honestly….do I ever think of where I am standing?
*Confirmatory bias= the idea that what we see is what we expect to see or want to see
(Example of the vulture and hummingbird)
*We seek out information to confirm our perspective (example- ref makes a call against our team we yell “BOO! Bad Call! Get some glasses!….ref makes same call against other team we yell “Good Call”)
*MINDSET…..Soldier vs Scout mindset (TED Talk) – watch here
*-Soldier….ready to defend
-Scout…not to attack or defend…role is to understand…to see what is really there (even if it isn’t pretty)
*both essential… 2 different mindsets….how we process information in our daily lives
*Scout mindset….curious people, internal itch to solve problems and learn….grounded…view is growing
*What do you yearn for….To defend your belief (soldier) or to see the world as clearly as you possibly can (scout)?
*Do you have a soldier or scout mindset?
*Mindset is paramount with perspective.
*EMPATHY….willing to walk in someone else’s shoes
*we are so busy…do we stop to look up and see who is around us?
*Seek to understand where they are
*Step in the shoes of someone else
*Empathy and Sympathy are not the same
*Imagine you are walking in the rain and you see a woman standing wet and cold in the rain…you have 2 umbrellas….
…..you give the woman your 2nd umbrella (SYMPATHY)
…..you put away your umbrella and walk with her in the rain (EMPATHY)
*Brene Brown says that empathy= drives connection sympathy= drives disconnect (b/c often pity)
*Empathy is a choice
*rarely does an empathetic response begin with “at least”…..we say it all the time to those suffering
*When someone shares something with you that is so painful we try to make a silver lining….to make it better
*A response rarely makes it right…..a connection trumps being right
*Every single person can teach us something.
*What is my mindset….Scout (uncover the truth)….Soldier (defending my view)
*We long to connect….be vulnerable…be empathetic
*IT’S NOT WHAT YOU LOOK AT, IT’S WHAT YOU SEE