*”Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis
*Your life is up to you (God is in control…but, we are not suppose to live passively…we are to live the life we are created to live)
*You have to understand the lies that are getting in the way of you believing the truth
*It is impossible to get somewhere until you understand where you are.
*Rachel Hollis is supportive and encouraging but she refuses to let women wallow.
*You get one chance to live
*Stop beating yourself up and stop letting others beat you up.
*Stop buying things you can’t afford to impress people you don’t like.
*Stop eating your feelings instead of dealing with them.
*Stop trying to buy your child’s love with gifts and treats.
*Your life is suppose to be a journey from one unique place to another; it’s not suppose to be a merry go round that brings you back to the same spot.
*Maria Shriver says in “I’ve Been Thinking”….. “We are who we choose to become”
*Trying to be better tomorrow than I am today
*We can’t hustle for our worthiness
*By admitting the lies- we take away their power.
*At some point in your life you have been taught to believe something that is not true…..for example…
you can’t wear white after labor day, if you swallow gum it will stay in your body for 7 years, if you eat carrots it will help your eyes, you can’t get in the pool until 30 min after eating, the math you are learning now will help you in the real world, if you crack your knuckles it will give you arthritis, if you touch a bullfrog you will get warts….there are no facts to support these things–but, for some reason we believe them because they were repeated over and over
*If the human mind is told something over and over again it can start to believe it is a fact….even if it is not
*** 7 LIES WE BELIEVE***
LIE #1- SOMETHING ELSE WILL MAKE ME HAPPY
-I’ll be happy when I…..get married, have kids, move…etc…..but if you don’t…then what?
-we think the grass is greener on the other side….but, actually the grass is greener where you water it.
-the moments you feel like you are drowning should be brief–not all the time.
-take responsibility of your life
-if you are unhappy- it’s on you (she isn’t talking about depression and more serious issues)
-What am I waiting for? What will make me feel settled?
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Stop comparing to those around you (comparison is the death of joy)
2)Surround yourself with joy… Jim Rohn says “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
you become who you surround yourself with…you become what you consume
3)Figure out what makes you happy and do those things. Find what feeds your soul
LIE #2-I WILL START TOMORROW
-we tell ourselves…I will start tomorrow…eating healthy, exercising, not spending as much….etc…
-we can make excuses for anything.
-We say “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll start Monday”….but when the time comes we cave….over and over again we cave on ourselves.
We keep bailing out on ourselves. When this is a regular occurance the promises we make to ourselves hold little value.
-Rachel says she will NEVER break a promise to herself…big or small…think about it…we never break promises to others-but we have no problem
cancelling on ourselves. What if a friend never did what they said they would or if they cancelled on you everytime…this would lead to distrust..
it is the same with yourself–your subconscious doesn’t trust you
-How many times has your family…your kids…your loved ones seen you give up on yourself? Our world is full of laziness and complacency–
don’t be an example of that.
-Our words have power-but our actions shape our lives
-If we start never breaking a promise to ourselves we will be forced to slow down
-What if we decided to end this year strong instead of saying I will start tomorrow- or Monday- or in January…
Don’t coast into Jan…crush the rest of this year… Elizabeth is going to do the Last 90 Day Challenge
#last90dayschallenge
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Start with one small goal…. Example…if you drink a lot of diet coke—go down to maybe 2 a day…then 1 a day….then only when you go out…
2)Be careful with commitment….slow down your yes…Live your best yes
3)Be honest with yourself…(do you keep saying your are going to get up early and you don’t, do you have one more glass when you said you
weren’t, did one unhealthy lunch turn into another and another…)
LIE #3- I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
-example- you may have been raised in a way that you had to perform everyday…only the best was accepted…anything less than an A was not good
enough..if you performed you felt loved, accepted and got praised–but- if a little bit of the “real you” snuck out you got disciplined or ignored and given the
silent treatment. Even as adults we still long for approval
-example- a 73 year old woman recalled a story of going to visit her Grandmother “Big Mama”…she was so excited about the visit and getting to see her…
her 2 beautiful sisters jumped out of the car first and Big Mama hugged and welcomed them…then- as she stepped out Big Mama said, “You’re ugly- get back in the car.” Even at age 73 she still had tears running down her face as she told the story….still seeking approval and wondering if she is “good enough”
-We have to unlearn these things we were told
-You are LOVED, You are WORTHY, You are ENOUGH
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Go to counseling….the closer you are to a situation the smaller the view…it is harder to see the big picture
2)Hustle for joy….work just as hard for those “pee in my pants laughing moments” as your to do list
3)Reordering your list….think about your priorities…where do you spend your time and where do you spend your money…
You can learn a lot about someone by looking at their calendar and their check book
-Are you feeding your soul?
-The better version of me I can be- the better version those around me get
LIE #4- I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER
-You can’t blame the past for things that went wrong if you aren’t willing to be grateful for what went right.
-You will be too much for some people-those aren’t your people.
-It is like we are all children on the playground trying to say what everyone else wants to hear
-We are living half of ourselves.
-After an amazing funeral Elizabeth left thinking…Does my life line up with the way I want to be remembered?….
then she listened to Alan Jackson’s “The Older I Get” on repeat!
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)A willingness to offend (to accept that not everyone will understand)
-What other people think of you is none of your business
2)A bold statement
3)An encounter with a guru (podcast, lecture, class….etc..)
LIE #5- I AM NOT DEFINED BY MY WEIGHT
-You are NOT defined by your weight
-I wish I was as skinny as I was back when I thought I was fat!
-We can only take our kids as far as we’ve gone ourselves
-It brings your creator joy when you live out who you are
-if you aren’t taking good care of your body you can choose to stay there…or you can choose to be healthy….we need to be healthy–not thin–
healthy…..stop filling your body with garbage, exercise, stretch, rest, take care o yourself….etc…
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Mantras….repeat it over and over again….(ex. You is kind, You is smart, You is important)
2)Editing your media…if social media is a trigger for you…stop consuming it
3)Preparation…plan in advance
LIE #6- I NEED A DRINK
-“You can’t selectively numb your emotions-numbing negative emotions, numbs positive emotions.” -Brene Brown
-Short term solution
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Learn about habits….Book “The Power of Habit”
2)Acknowledging my reality (self awareness)…you can’t move past a problem without acknowledging it
3)Remove Temptations
LIE #7- THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO BE
-We are more alike than we are different
-Trying to be in a community with people who do not look and act like you stretches you and makes you a better version of you.
-“When you know better you do better” -Maya Angelou
-If we adjust our posture, it will change the way we speak. If we adjust our posture, it will change the way we listen. If we adjust our
posture, we will see the person, not the story they fall into.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
1)Changing churches…does everyone look just like you?
2)Acknowledging my position
3)Asking humble questions….talk less/ listen more
*Every year you close a new chapter in your story…Don’t write the same one 75 times and call it a life.
*What lie is on repeat in your mind? You have the ability to change that lie to a truth
*There is no easy way out…the only way out is through…stop waiting for someone else to fix or figure out your life