“The Best Yes” by Lysa TerKeurst
*”OUR DECISIONS DETERMINE OUR DIRECTION AND OUR DIRECTION DETERMINES OUR DESTINATION”*
*Elizabeth was first introduced to Lysa when she watched her on Oprah….Lysa was sharing the story of her family…
how she went with her daughters to hear the Liberian Boys Choir sing….she was so moved that she suddenly felt the
call to adopt 2 of the boys….she hadn’t planned on it…but, “she knew that she knew that she knew”….friends tried to talk her out of it and gave her all the reasons why they shouldn’t….but, although the current was pulling her in the opposite direction she said YES. She adopted the boys….and later…some of the friends that had told her not to adopt ended up adopting boys from the same choir! The whole choir got adopted from families from their same town!
*When we say YES there is a ripple effect…it gives others permission to live their BEST YES too
*We often have a hard time making decisions…we don’t want to miss out (we have FOMO)…we don’t want to disappoint..
*We live at the mercy of others requests on us
*It is easier to show a past scar than a current wound…we can tell a past story–but, our current story can be hard
*Your BEST YES is YOU playing YOUR PART.
*You have to know who you are and what your purpose is
*WISDOM MAKES DECISIONS TODAY THAT WILL STILL BE GOOD TOMORROW.
*”Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I’ve seen plenty of people turn down an invitation to fully live” -Bob Goff
*If we see someone on the road….driving, texting and eating at the same time we would know that is an accident waiting to happen….but-that is how we manage/juggle our schedules
*We tend to live a REACTIVE life instead of a PROACTIVE life
*Elizabeth told about how when her kids were younger she felt like she was living in the car….driving herE and there…carpool line…kids missing naps…everyone feeling cranky…something had to give. She talked to a mentor who gave her the advice to make a change….in their case it was to not do preschool….less driving….less carpool lines….and kids could get their naps. They made a small change and it made a world of difference for their family. It was against the current of what they saw everyone else doing–but-it worked for them.
*Living a reactive life gets you behind, overwhelmed and exhausted.
*Women are thermostats (not thermometers) in their homes…they set the tone
*Elizabeth made the change of getting up really early (even though she’s not a morning person) and that small change made a big difference
*There is a story of a man that did the high jump….everyone jumped the same way for 70 years….but, he changed it (the “Fosbury Flop”)–made a little adjustment and he ended up winning the gold metal….then, everyone started to do it the way he did.
*What if we could make some adjustments that could help us live the life we want
*A WOMAN WHO LIVES WITH THE STRESS OF AN OVERWHELMED SCHEDULE WILL OFTEN LIVE WITH THE ACHE OF A UNDERWHELMED SOUL
*What were you created for? What do you long for? What do you really want?
*The decisions we make dictate the schedule we keep. The schedule we keep determines the life we live. The life we live determines how we spend our souls.
*Self care is not selfish
*Give a voice to what is inside
*How we spend our days…..matters
How we spend our souls…..matters
*Pick a new technique-start now–it may look different
*”In light of my past experiences, my current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams,
what is the wise thing to do? -Andy Stanley
*Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, good judgement; the quality of being wise.
*”He who walks with the wise will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” Proverbs 13:20
*Our fears, foolishness and feelings can get in the way of our decision making when they go unchecked.
*To Live Your BEST YES:
1) WE HAVE TO CONSIDER THE TRADE…we carry things that weigh us down that we weren’t meant to carry.
-If we refuse to remove something before we say YES and add something it will cause stress…make room for the yes
2) SHOW UP TO PRACTICE…wisdom needs to be practiced on a daily basis. Practice making wise decisions with
little things on a daily basis and you will be ready for the big decisions.
3) MANAGING DEMANDS MEANS UNDERSTANDING EXPECTATIONS
-know what you are saying yes to
-it may be realistic for someone else–but is it realistic for you?
-Does it feel forced or frantic?
-IS IT FORCED OR DOES IT FLOW?
-What is your motive?
-Which wise person in your life thinks this is a good idea?
-Evaluate…don’t make it a rushed yes
4) KNOWING THE POWER OF NO
–Book “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown
-Many of us have a hard time saying no…but failure to say no may make us miss out on something better
-Say no to the non-essentials so we can say yes to the most important
-We can answer NO without saying the word NO…
“I’m flattered that you thought of me…..”
“I’m over committed…..”
if coming from a boss- “Yes, I’m happy to do that…what other thing do you want me to de-prioritize?”
-Learn the power of a slow YES and a quick NO
-When we alter our best yes so that we won’t disappoint another we will wear ourselves out
-If we want to live better we have to decide better
–Book “The Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes …. is the other end of the spectrum….her sister told her she never said yes to anything so for a year she said yes to everything!
5) THE THRILL OF THE UNRUSHED YES
-Conversational threads make up the fabric of relationships….we have to take the time to connect…
-Relationships nourish and are like soul food
-In the early mornings she asks her husband, “what can I do for you today?” and they make it a point to
have a “staff meeting” on Sunday nights….to talk about the important not just the urgent
*”WHENEVER YOU SAY YES TO SOMETHING THERE IS LESS OF YOU FOR SOMETHING ELSE…MAKE SURE YOUR YES IS WORTH THE LESS.” -Louie Giglio
*Sometimes our best yes doesn’t turn out like we had planned….then what?
-do the next right thing….take baby steps of right things.
-your mistakes don’t define you (remind your kids and remind yourself)
-scream the truth louder than the lies in your head
-Teddy Roosevelt said “In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” (Teddy Roosevelt’s wife died giving birth to their child….
Teddy’s mother died 2 hours prior to that in the same house. His journal showed that date with a big X on it….
he thought life was over…the unexpected came barging in…but, then he just kept doing the next right thing….he went on to become the youngest president at age 42)
*You are LOVED
You are WORTHY
You are ENOUGH
*We make our choices and our choices make us
*How would our lives look different if we considered the trade, showed up to practice, managed demands by
understanding expectations, knew the power of no and knew the thrill of the unrushed yes?
“The Best Yes” by Lysa TerKeurst