“ASK IT”
*Voltaire tells us we can evaluate people by the questions they ask
*Do we ask ourselves questions like:
*If I knew I had limited time to live how would I change how I am currently living? (b/c we ALL have limited time!)
*What do I really love to do?…Am I doing it?
*What is my greatest strength?
*What is my greatest weakness?
*What are my blind spots?
*What have I done today to make someone’s life better?
*When did I not speak up and I should have?
*Who am I ?
*To the depth we know ourselves is the degree and capacity we can know and give to others.
*If we don’t know who we really are we can’t live out our purpose.
*”Ask It” by Andy Stanley Ask It: The Question That Will Revolutionize How You Make Decisions
*You can learn a lot about a person by asking….where they live, how they spend their time, how many kids they have, how they parent, how they prioritize their marriage, how they spend their money…etc..
*We need to PAUSE…what is the best for your family…don’t just follow the herd mentality
*These questions can be hard because they open us up.
*You decide if you are going to look at all the answers or not…but-either way-they are still there.
*You look back on decisions you have made and think…”How could I have been so stupid or naive?”…we follow our hearts and emotions
*Some bad decisions can scar us…and they can embarrass us…they can also embarrass other people
*Things that are clear to us now were not clear at the time.
*Choices we make can negatively impact others.
*NO ONE PLANS TO MESS UP THEIR LIFE….BUT FEW PEOPLE PLAN NOT TO.
*No one plans to end a marriage, raise a co-dependant child, fall into addiction, or get into credit card debt…
but once it happens and we are there we say “how did I get here?”
*Where do I need to draw the line morally, ethically, financially?
*It is very easy to deceive ourselves…Most of the time I am fully aware of the game I am playing…
(You tell yourself–“sleep in-don’t get up and workout like you had planned–you need rest!” Or
“Go ahead and eat the dessert–you deserve it- you’ve had a lot going on”….etc..)
*Bad decision require creative reasoning.
*INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE A RIGHT DECISION—MAKE A DECISION RIGHT
*When we are making a decision and we ask the questions– “Is there anything wrong with it?”….that is not the questions we should be asking….it should be “Is it the wise thing for me to do?”
*We need a reference point
1) IN LIGHT OF MY PAST EXPERIENCE, WHAT IS THE WISE THING FOR ME TO DO?
(financially, professionally, relationally)
-she has a friend with a history of major credit card debt…now that friend doesn’t have a credit card….not b/c
credit cards are bad but b/c of her past that is the wise thing for her
-a relative that was addicted to sports and news on TV gave up TV when he got married….not b/c TV is bad but b/c of his
past that is the wise thing for him to do.
-when it come to our kids….if there is something they can’t seem to live without–the more caution we should use
2) IN LIGHT OF WHAT IS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW/CURRENT SITUATION, WHAT IS THE WISE THING FOR ME TO DO?
-she has had friends that have stopped working for a season of life for health reasons or to raise kids…etc…
not b/c work is bad…but because of their current situation it was the wise thing to do.
-she had a friend that had a recent really hard breakup and decided to take a season off of dating….not b/c dating is bad…
but b/c of her current situation it was the wise thing for her to do.
3) IN LIGHT OF FUTURE HOPES AND DREAMS, WHAT IS THE WISE THING FOR ME TO DO?
-Where do you envision yourself in 10 years….financially, professionally, relationally…etc…
-You may lack plans….but-most people have hopes and dreams.
-what you do today impacts your future (marriage, relationship with your kids, finances)
-Tomorrow is shaped by today.
IN LIGHT OF MY PAST EXPERIENCES, CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES, FUTURE HOPES AND DREAMS. WHAT’S THE WISE THING FOR ME TO DO?”
*Simply speaking…. Time = Your life
*You can make more money, get more friends….but- you can’t get more time
*What is the best way for me to be investing my time?
*We spend more time asking for more time than we do evaluating how we spend and invest our time.
*If you are not being careful you will miss opportunities to spend time doing things that matter most.
*Live on purpose and with intention.
*****QUESTIONS THAT WERE SENT IN*****
Q: How did The Exchange get started?
A: Elizabeth and her husband had lived in Forsyth County for over 20 years….they were very involved in the community and church…she kept feeling like there was something else she was supposed to be doing…but wasn’t for sure what “IT” was….so, she prayed about “IT” for 2 years and ended up reading about something similar in Nashville…she got shivers up her spine and realized that was “IT”
Q:How did you realize part of your purpose was the Exchange?
A:She knew she wanted to do something where she could help others LIVE WITH INTENTION and ON PURPOSE
Q:Could you explain your whiteboard and how you manage your week with 8 kids?
A: They have a big whiteboard that has the calendar, schedule, all the things needed to run the household, and the meal plan.
Under that board is another board that says “Because we cloth and feed you” and each child’s name is listed with a daily chore.
Q:How do you deal with someone who is permanently in your life but always sees life as the glass half-empty or sees everything from a negative viewpoint (even the weather)?
A: have boundaries…you can still protect yourself…if you have to see them at a gathering it doesn’t mean you have to be in the same room with them the whole time. You can’t get hooked into what they are doing (even though it is hard)….Realize the trigger
Q:What are you reading?
A: “The Road Back to You”
“Creativity, Inc” (one of Brene Brown’s fav. book)Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration
“Clout”
“You Are a Badass”
Q: What is your secret to engraving “yes ma’am/ yes sir” and “no ma’am/no sir” in your children?
A: repetition, constant reinforcement, model it
*when your children show this respect to others the respect level that others will have towards your children increases
*Also….they teach their children that if anyone asks them a question….they respond and ask them a question back….teachers comment all the time how this is so wonderful and rare
3 people asked this question:
Q:What does Elizabeth keep in her handbag?
A: 🙂
Q:What was your favorite Exchange topic?
A: The very first Exchange… “The Power of Vulnerability”….it was a coming out of who she really is.
She also really liked “Rising Strong” with Vikki, “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Frientimacy”
Q:What age do you start talking to your kids about sex?
A:based on maturity…sometime between elementary and middle school…don’t tell if don’t have the maturity to keep mouth shut
***There were a TON of parenting questions….there is talk of maybe a parenting class over the summer???
Overall she said that they want to teach their children to be Resourceful…you can’t force motivation
You can have dreams for your children but you can’t make your dreams your kid’s dreams.
Their children will pay for their own college.
They don’t push or pull…they just encourage.
Q:Why do I compare myself to other women around me?
A: Comparison is a habit…we train ourselves
-look through the lense of Abundance….think about ALL you have…it is a learned trait
-by comparison we are trying to fit in–but to stand out is best
-when we compare it means we care about what others think
-Melanie Dale said “we don’t have a problem with what we have…we have a problem with what other people have.”
Q:How do you prioritize your schedule?
A:When looking at the calendar and making a decision about something she thinks–
“It is good….but, is it the best/wise thing to do?”
-Just b/c we can doesn’t mean we should.
-She asks is this wise and beneficial?
****Be on the look out for the answers to the questions we did not get to! We will be posting on the Facebook page over the next couple weeks!