You know the atmosphere when your boss walks into the room
You know the atmosphere when your husband gets home
You know the atmosphere when that friend walks into the party
WHAT IS YOUR ATMOSPHERE?
*If you woke up tomorrow and discovered you were married to YOU….would you be happy or devastated?
*What if you had to work with you?….would you quit?
*What is it like for others when you show up?
*What is it like to play tennis with you, co-lead with you, volunteer with you, be your spouse, be your sibling, be your child?
*It is so easy to analyze what others do…but, are we even aware of our own actions?
*PRUDENCE= giving thoughts to our steps
*FOCUS….live by design and not by default
*Jeff Henderson has the idea that everyone has a climate (more on this North Point Resources Climate Change, Part 1)
*When people see you coming they know the forecast…
*some people bring a ray of sunshine, some bring thunderstorms, some bring peace…etc…
*every relationship you have has a climate
*Chick-fil-a has a dramatically different climate than McDonald’s
*The company Zappos (www.zappos.com) was ranked one of the very best places to work…the culture they create for their employees is their #1 focus….they have a “Culture Book” where employees write 500 word essays about the culture….they have a nap room, petting zoo, karaoke, book rooms, a bowling alley and popcorn machines. They offer employees $2,000 to quit–to ensure people there want to be there and are working for more than just a paycheck….this ensures passionate employees and attracts the best…they are committed to conflict resolution–understanding businesses like this is so important.
*You have a collection of relationships that make up your dominate moods and emotions
*What are the dominate moods and emotions in my relationships?
*Those moods and emotions dictate your climate…your climate dictates your forecast
–what is your climate? one of trust, jealousy, insecurity, hope, arrogance, turmoil, kindness, tension??
*Zappos is full of sunshine!
*You can predict the forecast from the climate…..the relationship that stays dark and gloomy for too long will get frigid
*The #1 reason a CEO/leader/etc…fails is the inability to understand the emotional climate and to respond to the hearts and relationships of the people they work with
*If you cannot see the climate change when you enter the room you will limit yourself…..you will constantly be blaming others
*Our single Greatest Asset= Our Relationships
*unchecked negative emotions can kill relationships
*What do people say after being around you? “she is so encouraging” – “she never listens” – “it is challenging to be around her” – “she is so creative” – “everyday she chooses joy” – “she never complains” – “I have to walk on eggshells around her”
*If you have overbooked your schedule–adjust it so that you aren’t taking your frustrations out on those around you that depend on you.
*EVERYTHING YOU DO IS A CHOICE
*We are all responsible for our choices
*In “THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT” by Kelly McGonigal she says: most of us make our choices without even thinking about them https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583335080/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
-we make more than 200 food choices a day completely unaware
-“WHEN YOUR MIND IS PREOCCUPIED- YOUR IMPULSES- NOT YOUR LONG TERM GOALS WILL DRIVE YOUR CHOICES”
Elizabeth spoke with Hannah who has been asking others this question for the past 10 years.:
*It is one of the best things she has ever done….it encourages authentic relationships
*desire to grow is a healthy habit
*OUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE IGNORED OR TO BE IN CHARGE
You can say:
*How does it feel to be in a conversation with me?
*How does it affect you when I’m having a bad day?
*She has 5-6 people that she asks these kinds of questions about once a month
*OUR WIRING IS ABOUT AWARENESS…NOT PERMISSION
*Value others and have a curiosity for others
*It won’t always be negative — you will get encouragement too
*YOU should care the most about YOUR personal growth…you can’t do because of someone else or for someone else
*Find 1-2 or 3 people who know you and ask:
1) What is it like to be on the other side of me?
2) What are my blind spots?
3) What are my strengths?
4) What are the areas I need to work on?
*WHEN THEY ANSWER….BE QUIET AND LISTEN…DON’T INTERRUPT, RATIONALIZE OR DEFEND
*you may be surprised- your feelings may be hurt
*Don’t DEFEND….ENGAGE….if you don’t engage it is pointless
*BE BETTER TOMORROW THAN YOU ARE TODAY
*remove your blind spots
*take this challenge seriously
*”IF WHAT YOU SEE IS ALL YOU SEE, THEN YOU WILL NEVER SEE ALL THERE IS TO SEE” -Christine Caine